So as I was walking and talking to God last night I was thanking God for all of the changes that He has brought about in my life. It is amazing to me how he molds and changes us each day with a million little and big things, if we will let him. When I am angry, upset, and hurt, and feel like the other person is the one in the wrong, God can take all of the anger away. I will be ranting and raving right up until I see that person and then it all just disappears. It is amazing really. In the past I would be angry for days, fighting with or not speaking to whoever I was mad at. I feel sooooo bad that I lived like that for so long. God can do this for you too.
The largest part is knowing that it is not everyone else that needs to change, but you that needs to change. I used to think, "If he would just do this or stop doing this, then I would not even get mad in the first place." Sorry guys and gals, but this is not how it works. No matter what is done to us to us we are to forgive, not harbor anger. This only hurts us. Psalm 30:5 states "For His anger is but for a moment." With as many times as we anger and disappoint God in a day, He only stays angry at us but for a moment. If this is how he treats us how can we do any less for others.
Now here comes the really hard part. When you are mad you have to pray for god to take all of the anger away, even if you were the one wronged! I remember a few weeks agao I was quite angry with my wonderful husband, why is not important, let us just say that he was wrong and I was right LOL. I was pretty mad and had asked God to take the anger away, a few times. I remember standing out on the deck, praying yet again, "God please take this anger way from me. Let my heart be happy when he gets home. But God, I want to be mad!! He is wrong and it is not fair!!" In this moment I knew that this was not something that I could do without God, and I knew that I need not ask Him again. By the time my husband got home I would not be mad. God says, "My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness." It was not in me to get over being mad, but God could and did. I love to sit back and see God change me!!! How amazing that He cares for us so much. He only wants what is best for us. I was not happy with all of that anger and sadness weighing on my heart. God is changing me, sometimes this is hard, but I know it is for the best, because I am happier than I have ever been.
So I wrote this and then went to do my Bible Study. Right now I am reading one chapter of Proverbs each day. I then think about all that I read and pick verses that will help me to make good decisions and gain wisdom and understanding. So I read Proverbs 6 a few minutes ago and was writing down the verse that tells about the 7 things that are an amomination to God. As I wrote the last one I was thinking about all of the "other" people that do this. Then it hit me, "This was me!!!!" When I was carrying all of that anger around I was causing discord in my family and with my husband. This makes me soooo unbelievably sad. How could I do this to my family, my marriage, my kids? What must God have thought of me? I am sad, broken, and oh so very humbled right now. I am so gald that God has shown me this and so greatful that God is changing me and growing me as a Christian