Thursday started a strange chain of events for me. I have been keeping this AMAZING little boy for quite a few months. He is so precious as is his wonderful little family. Over the last month it has been weighing on my heart that this was becoming a little much for me to do and keep up with all of the things that I need to do as a mom of three boys, one of them only two, and a wife. I would have kept doing this for awhile and not said anything even though I had prayed about the situation. I was not sure what God was telling me to do, so I continued to do things the was that I was. I was worried that my feelings were selfish and not from God. The boy's Mom came to me and told me that she was going to need me to keep him full time. As much as I love keeping him and helping out, I knew in my heart that this was going to be to much for me. That it would take to much time away from Matthew, and my responsibilities as a mother and wife. I prayed about it all day. I thought that maybe my heart would change and that it would be ok, but the burden of what it would cost just kept bothering me. I prayed that it would be easy to talk to mom and tell her how I felt, but that I still wanted to keep him. We talked and said that we would both think about it some more and talk on Friday. I prayed about it some more through the night. I wanted to do God's will, but I wanted to make sure that I was not making a decision based on my own wants. Friday came and mom came by. She let me know that they would have to take the wonderful little boy somewhere else. That she had to work full time and could not find someone to watch him for just two days a week so that I could watch him the rest. I was very upset, and worried that I had made the wrong decision. After talking with my husband, thinking about it and praying about it some more I can see that God was trying to tell me something for the last little while, but I did not listen. God has a plan for our lives. He knows this plan and we have to learn to listen to him and to ourselves. He gives us our thoughts, feelings, and desires for a reason. This does not mean that all of our decisions will be easy. It was very hard to tell her that I could not keep him, but I believe that this is going to work out for the best for everyone involved. I thank God that He cares for me so much that He has created an amazing plan for my life. One that is perfect for me :)
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares
the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and
a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares
the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and
a future.